100. Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

Film 44 in C4 Top 100 War Films

Oh my word. Is this really is on the Channel 4 Top 100 War Films? – admittedly only just creeping in at 100, but I can think of many films that are so much better. What the hell is going on? Am I mistaken? I guessed the only way to find out was to watch it…

Lordy, it’s bad. It’s unintentionally hilarious, with lots of monosyllables and even more muscle-flexing. I haven’t seen First Blood (Part I?), so I might be missing the point, but it’s corny with diabolic dialogue and awful special effects. Come on, I’ve seen better explosions on Thunderbirds.

There were moments it reminded me slightly of Predator – the jungle, the unknown enemy, the mud – I may have to say this again, but Schwarzenegger is an INFINITELY better actor, than Stallone. I knew it, of course, but this confirmed it. Arnie might have struggled with English in the early days, but it’s Stallone’s first language and he can do nothing more than mutter or grunt. Oh, and I forgot about those darn Russkies. It’s the 1980’s, so it’s always the Russians. Ok, I’ve given it all away, but it might mean you don’t have to watch it now. Thank me for that.

1/10

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